Camino Day 6

28 August, 2014 - Molinaseca

I've stopped in Molinaseca for breakfast :)

Maybe this is too much information but I think I need to change my shirt. I've been wearing this yellow long-sleeved one every day that I've been walking so I wouldn't have to worry about applying and reapplying sunscreen.* But I think the color is attracting flies - though now that I think about it, it could be the smell...but I don't think it smells bad, I swear! I promise I rinse and/or wash this shirt every single day!

*Funny story about sunscreen on the Camino: apparently, many Europeans don't use sunscreen - some don't even know what it is! I was walking along with Almu, Andrea, and Nicole on my first day on the Camino and we had stopped on the side of the trail to rest. Before we got up to start walking again, I took out my sunscreen spray and started reapplying to my face and neck. The three girls gave me the weirdest looks! Andrea finally asked me what I was doing and I told them I burn very easily so I have to apply sunscreen every few hours. They all kind of giggled in a friendly way and Almu said that most Europeans like to get sunburnt. When they go back to work with a sunburn, it tells everyone that they just got back from holiday - like they are bragging without having to say anything. I love how much I'm learning about other cultures!

Anyway, as I was walking down the massive hills from Riego de Ambros - sloloming through blackberry brambles - I had to keep reminding myself to look backward at the sunrise. And that made me think, what if the best sunrises happen while our backs are turned? How often do we miss opportunities because we are so focused on what is ahead that we don't stop to see what is all around us?

I'll write again this afternoon once I stop for the night in Ponferrada...

28 August, 2014 - Ponferrada

Man, does this place make me miss Torino! I came into the hostel and the girl checking me in is Karla's Spanish doppelganger! Plus, I went to the supermercado to get dinner (and, let's face it, breakfast, lunch and dinner for tomorrow, too). All I need now is Karla and Alaina to run around the city with me to find a bar that will serve us tres margaritas de fragola!

It is nice being in an actual city again. Astorga was only kind of a city...it didn't feel like people actually lived there. I know they do, Astorga was just such a medieval city that it was more of an attraction than a place where people actually lived lives. It was also kind of fun coming into the city through a suburban neighborhood. I saw people on runs, on walks, walking their dogs and going to work. You can get so swept away by the old-world feel of the Camino that you forget that actual people live and work here.

I got to talk to Mom again today on the phone! She wasn't really awake when I called yesterday from the Cruce de Ferro so we set up a time to talk before she went to work this morning. I sat out on the beautiful patio under the shade of a few trees in front of the albergue. Mom was so happy to chat and sounded so excited for me. She's been forwarding all of my emails on to the whole family and she is going to send me all of their replies. It'll be fun to hear from everyone. :)

I was thinking about going to mass tonight again. The albergue is run partly by the church next door so I feel kind of obligated but I think I will just go to bed early and pray before going to sleep.

It's a very early day tomorrow. I'm going to try to leave by 6am; partly to give my things to JacoTrans so they are sent ahead to Villafranca and partly because I will be walking through vineyards during the hottest part of the day and I would like to avoid as much heat exhaustion as I can. So I will sign off for the night and prepare for a long trek tomorrow.

Dear God, thank you for helping me appreciate my experience here on the Camino - the people, the places and the scenery. I can't wait to take in more of your glory tomorrow. If it is in your will, please help me meet mew friends as well. I am starting to feel a bit lonely. Amen.

Camino Day 5

I am very obviously back to writing about my journey along the Camino de Santiago. We reconvene along The Way in Riego de Ambros...

27 August, 2014 - Riego de Ambros

Today was a good day. Hiking uphill is actually not that bad - it's a nice change from so much flat terrain. The downhill portions, however, are not very nice. I think I will be sore tomorrow mostly from the downhill.

This morning I reached the highest point on the whole Camino - El Cruce de Ferro (the Iron Cross). The cross itself is somewhat small and quite humble. It sits atop a huge obelisk which itself sits atop a huge mound of dirt and rocks that pilgrims ceremoniously leave behind.

The idea of pilgrims leaving something at the foot of the cross is to symbolize leaving behind or letting go of things unneeded. I, however, did not leave anything on the pile except my footprints. In fact, I took the opportunity to call Mom and Dad. To me, the Cruce de Ferro is more a way of remembering and honoring what I have left behind rather than learning to leave things behind. I got pretty emotional when it took me a few times to get through to Mom and Dad but it was so amazing to hear their voices again. Especially since it has been almost a year of seeing them every day. I think moving to England after the Camino may be tougher than I thought. I'm not having any second thoughts, I just think I may need to emotionally prepare myself for more homesickness than I've ever felt before.

Now on to the funny thing about today: I am the ONLY pilgrim staying in this albergue tonight! A few pilgrims have come through asking to use the toilet or wait for a taxi to take them to the next town but it is now almost 7pm and I am still the only one here! I am a bit surprised because Molinaseca is still another 6 kilometers away - though I did arrive pretty early this afternoon. I didn't want to walk during the hottest part of the day again so I stopped at around 1pm. Also, I think Acebo, the town just before here s a bit more pilgrim-friendly. Oh well...just another weird Camino experience!

I am now having dinner by myself because I am fairly certain I am still the ONLY pilgrim in this entire town.

I am in the pilgrim bar, Restaurante de Ruta Santiago, and I ordered a sausage cooked in red wine or "chorizo de vino tinto" - I probably just made that up...Anyway, I still need to figure out how to ask for things in Spanish. I don't think any of the locals will be able to help with translations though.

But people-watching the locals should be interesting at least...or my attempts at interacting with them. I think I am going to try to put together an intelligible sentence now - all I want is water and wine!

Spanish phrases to learn:
-May I have red/white wine, please?
-May I have water, please?
-I would like a table, please?
-May I have...(puedo tener...)

Dear God, please bless Mom and Dad and all of my family and friends back home. Keep them safe and healthy and help them know that even though I always seem to be running off, I will always love them. Amen

One Hundred Pounds

I am breaking from my entries about my pilgrimage along the Camino de Santiago to write about another journey that I have been on for quite some time now. I have been on a journey to get healthy and lose weight and I chose to write today because I have hit a major milestone along this journey:

I have lost 100 pounds since January 2014.

I remember being overweight for my entire life. There was never a point I look back on and think, Well, I was thin then. What happened? I won't go into details on how it started mainly because I don't know how it started. All I know is that I was never able to keep my weight in check.

I had always thought of myself as an active person. I played soccer and loved hiking and backpacking with my family. But it wasn't until undergrad that I decided to actively turn things around. Junior year, my roommate and I helped each other (this is a severe understatement because I would not have altered the path I was on without her support and guidance) get healthy and lose weight and by graduation we were well on our way to our goals. Then, life got in the way.

After graduation, we each moved home and experienced a period of unemployment. Then four and a half years of stress in the workplace and in my personal life had led to me gaining all that weight back and then some. In 2013, I knew that something drastic needed to happen. I tried weight loss plans, I tried simple diet and exercise, I even trained for and completed TWO half marathons without losing an appropriate amount of weight. I realized that I need to completely change my lifestyle if I was to make any progress again.

In November of 2013, I made the decision to undergo bariatric surgery. By January of 2014 I had started in the program which consisted of classes on pre- and post-op nutrition, exercise expectations, as well as time with a psychologist. My surgery was in March of 2014 and it was the best decision I ever made.

The picture on the left was the day before my surgery, the picture on the right was taken today.

I made some big sacrifices along the way to make my journey a success and I continue to make little ones each and every day. The outpouring of love and support I have received from family (especially my mom) and friends along my journey has been incredible. I feel stronger, healthier and happier than I have ever been. And while I have still not reached my goal weight, it is no longer an unattainable pipe dream. I know I will hit it, it is just a matter of when.

I have kept this part of my life quiet from most people so if any friends have questions about the surgery I underwent or about anything really, please feel free to reach out to me.

Camino Day 4

26 August, 2014 - Rabanal Del Camino

So today I decided to just let my mind wander to wherever it wanted to go. I've spent the last few days doing purposeful introspection so I thought I'd take a day off. It turns out that I didn't have many revelatory thoughts...the deepest thought I had was when I realized just how much the wind rushing through trees sounds like water. But let's be honest, that is more of an observation than a deep thought.

But it was a good thing to experience I think. Not having a set purpose for my thoughts today, I found myself defaulting to planning and logistics. I paid more attention to what time it was and made a game out of calculating my average speed every hour or so.

Then there were a few times throughout the day that I would concentrate on absolutely nothing at all for a couple of minutes - like when you find your eyes relaxing and you start staring out into space. That may also have been from me being tired despite my rest yesterday in Astorga. I bet I just need to gain some momentum, you know - get into a rhythm of waking up, walking, eating breakfast, walking, eating lunch, walking, settling into the albergue, eating dinner, and going to bed. Yeah, I think settling into a routine will help.

I have entered a more mountainous area now and because I'm higher up in elevation, it is much much cooler here in Rabanal. I am sitting out on the patio/courtyard area and the wind is picking up and blowing the clouds by pretty quickly overhead. Some of the clouds even have some rain in them - but they just send down a bit of drizzle.

Well, Rabanal began as my least favorite place on the Camino but quickly became my favorite so far. I was just approaching the entrance to the town when a huge tour bus came up from behind me along the road and pulled over to park a few hundred yards ahead of me. As I got closer, about twenty or thirty people piled out of the idling bus with their little backpacks, their hiking boots, and their walking sticks! I couldn't believe it. I had walked over 13 miles with my life on my back and these people just pulled right on up and started waltzing into town with their little walking sticks - which they didn't even need! Seriously, most of the people were carrying their walking sticks instead of using them!

I was overcome with anger and a sense of self-righteousness - like they had cheated. But most of all, I was afraid that their big group would take up all the beds at the good albergue. So I sped up and overtook most of the group; most of them were wandering around the market anyway. I made it to the albergue (by this time it was about 1pm) and saw that it didn't open until 3pm.

I was still in a huff so I took a deep breath. I unloaded by backpack, took off my boots and socks, and took out my guidebook to distract myself. I read that this albergue is run by the Confraternity of St. James in London, it runs off of donations which means there is no official charge to stay here for the night, and they only accept pilgrims who arrive unassisted (a.k.a. NOT on a bus). I felt relieved and I felt justified.

So I waited around for two hours chatting with other pilgrims, stretching and walking around the plaza area outside the front of the albergue. When the place opened at 3pm, the four hospitaleros greeted us. Two of them were a husband and wife from Denver and the other two were a pair of sisters-in-law from England. One of the ladies from England started going through the rules of the albergue but started by saying that the most important rule is that tea time is at 4pm. They are so welcoming and loving. The same lady said that she sees all the pilgrims who come through as her temporary children - pretty amazing!

Sitting here in the courtyard, I look back at the way I felt toward the people on the bus and I feel disappointed that I let myself think that way. Everyone is on the Camino for different reasons. And who am I to judge how someone experiences the Camino? In the future, I am going to try harder to turn any negative thoughts that I have into positive ones. Whenever my feet start to hurt or my pack feels too heavy, I will think about how blessed I am to have the strength to keep going (or the freedom to stop if I need to). Whenever I feel hot and tired, I will remember to embrace the discomfort - because it is only temporary and soon I will have a cool place to rest.

Dear God, please bless this lovely town and these wonderful hosts. Please help me turn any negative thoughts into positive ones and please help me remember how blessed I am to be on this pilgrimage. Amen.

Camino Day 3 - Rest Day!

25 August, 2014 - Astorga, 3pm

My friends from New Jersey and I have settled in to our new albergue for our second night in Astorga. We just got back from having lunch - we had bread, cheese and wine in one of the town squares - and we are now eating chocolate and drinking more wine in the courtyard of our albergue. There is also a small tiled salt-water pool for us to dunk our weary feet into.

We are now surrounded by a wonderful group of people who are staying with us here in the albergue. There is a man from Britain who I learn is a Chelsea supporter. I tell him I am a Liverpool supporter and he is shocked that a GIRL from AMERICA is a football fan at all let alone a Liverpool fan. This man is walking with a father/daughter pairing from Belfast. The daughter, Maria, and I were talking about football and I mentioned that the US men's team will be playing against Ireland in a friendly in November and she said she might be interested in going to the match with me!

This is the first group of pilgrims I've met who walked all the way from St. Jean. They were telling me about meeting a group of women from New York on the Camino. This group of women were walking the Camino for a long weekend. They would send their bags ahead every morning so they didn't carry hardly anything during the day. After their Camino, they were flying to Paris, Milan and London for some shopping. The Chelsea supporter scoffed and called them "packer slackers". While I initially found his comment funny, I now find it pretty harsh. Everyone does the Camino for different reasons and who are we to judge those with different motivations from ourselves?

Then there is the Canadian couple, Shauna and Miles. They currently live in Toronto but are originally from Nova Scotia and spent a year in Vancouver so we talked about my few trips to Vancouver while studying in Seattle.

The last couple had just gotten off the train to start their Camino - two Americans named Molly and Michael. Molly is from the Midwest originally and lived in New York before moving to the West Coast to be with Mike. I can't remember where Mike is originally from but he spent time in San Francisco and both of them recently moved to Seattle. Molly is going back to school at the University of Washington and Mike is trying to get a job in the gaming/tech industry.

I love meeting all of these new people!

There is also a Spanish massage therapist who set up her table on the ground floor of the albergue and I was her first customer of the day. It was a rip-off at 15 euros for 15 minutes, but after my walk yesterday, it felt amazing!

And it was during this massage (don't ask me why it happened then) that I had this epiphany. I realized - actually I think I always knew this but it was only now that I was able to mentally articulate it and admit it to myself - that I have been going through life as if I am a burden to everyone I meet. I know this is probably a result of my low self esteem from being overweight for as long as I can remember. But now that I am getting that under control (a topic for another post), I can start to work through my emotional barriers.

Living life as a burden is a horrible, horrible thing. I am shy, tend to be overly considerate, and always afraid of offending others. I have also been known to leave early from past social occasions because I would get these minor panic attacks (detailed in a past post of mine). But here on the Camino, everyone takes everyone else for who they are. Everyone is working on something about themselves. I think I need to give a bit more credit to those I interact with. I need to have faith that they are genuinely interested in me and not just going through motions.

It is an unwritten rule for pilgrims to be willing to give without receiving. If that is what I remember when entering into interactions with other pilgrims - that they are willingly giving their time and energy - then maybe I can carry that thinking over into life after the Camino.

Dear God, thank you for helping me see myself better. Please bless all of my new friends and all of my fellow peregrinos.

Camino Day 2

25 August, 2014 - Astorga, 10:00am

I definitely overdid it yesterday. I was walking way too fast in order to keep up with my Czech friend who I met in Mazarife on Saturday night. I also should have stopped at the town before Astorga. I even passed an albergue right on the road but I thought, "No, its only another 3 miles, I can do this."

It's pretty amazing how much the body can handle when you push your limits. It was a very long, very hot day yesterday and I did end up getting a couple of blisters on both of my heels. So I am going to spend today resting here in Astorga so I can be a bit more refreshed for tomorrow. Even though it was so difficult yesterday, there were some pretty amazing things along the Way as well.

I left at around 7:40am which was much later than I wanted to leave so I made sure to keep up my pace in the morning knowing that I had about 20 miles to walk. Although I couldn't help but stop a few times to take pictures of the sun rising over the farmland outside of Mazarife. It was glorious to stop and look around every so often and see the countryside bathed in the golden light of the rising sun...

It was also kind of crazy walking along in the morning on my own. I'm always hypersensitive when walking by myself so I starting psyching myself out when I saw this man on the isolated road ahead of me pull his car over. I looked to see if there were any other pilgrims ahead or behind me. There were two a ways ahead but I was pretty sure if I screamed they would hear me. Then I started thinking in how many languages I could say Help! I know, this is pretty morbid thinking, but being a woman in this world can be hard work sometimes.

I was especially glad of my mental recon work when I saw the man reach into the back seat of his car and pull out a shotgun. But then his dog jumped out and a more accurate picture started forming in my head. The man started walking away from the road into the corn fields. By this point, I was passing his car so I looked down the pathway he took and I saw him just before he ducked into a row of corn. As I was walking away I heard POP POP POP and a flock of ducks rose from the fields to fly away. It wasn't until later that I remembered a sign that Almu had pointed out on my first day:

She said it means private hunting land. All I could think of was that I hope that man knows not to point his gun toward the road where all the pilgrims were walking!

Anyway, along the Way to the first major town of the day, Hospital De Orbigo, my Czech friend caught up to me (he walks very fast). I call him my Czech friend because I never actually asked him his name. I found this realization quite odd. Usually, a name is the first thing you learn from someone but for most people on the Camino, you just fall into conversation with one another. Usually you ask where are you from? Where did you start the Camino? Where are you walking to today? And if you really get to know them, you ask What made you decide to walk the Camino or What do you want to get out of walking the Camino? Then, if you are walking a different pace, you say good bye and "Buen Camino". Oddly enough, asking someone's name is not an essential part of conversations along the Camino. I wonder why that is...well, whatever the reason, I want to get better at learning people's names.

A true legend of the Camino is the giving nature of those who live along the Way. But I hadn't really experienced it until yesterday. I was walking along a side street of Villares De Orbigo (just outside of Hospital De Orbigo) when a man comes out of his garage calling to me "un segundo, senorina, un segundo!" I stop and he invites me into his garage (which is wide open and I make sure not to go too far in). On the hood of his car is a pack of cookies and a bunch of papers. He offers me a cookie and asks me to write a message and sign my name and where I am from in his "guest book". After trying to make conversation (in Spanish so it wasn't going so well) he asked me if he could say goodbye the Spanish way with a kiss on each cheek. I say yes and thank you for asking. We kiss on each cheek then I go on my way. He truly seemed curious to learn about me. Such grace and love is expressed along the Camino.

Quite a bit further along yesterday, I just finished walking up a relatively steep hill in a very arid stretch of pathway with no shade. But the guidebook mentioned a "cantina" up ahead so I pushed doggedly on. It turns out this cantina was more like a large fruit stand with a covered and decorated bench for pilgrims to rest under.

It was run by a father and son and sponsored by the local diocese. It was such a welcome respite! I put my backpack down amongst the others and the man offered me a huge slice of watermelon - it was the best watermelon I had ever tasted! All of the food and drink were free for the pilgrims (there wasn't even a place for donations) and the man and his son were so gracious. The son in particular (who looked to be in his early 20s) seemed interested in talking to every one of the pilgrims. There was even a guitar there and two pilgrims - one from Italy and the other from Spain - took turns playing and singing while the rest of us ate, drank and enjoyed the much needed rest.

It's true that you don't really appreciate something until you need it. I felt like I was taking the kindness of the hospitaleros for granted because I had heard and read so much about it. But after yesterday, experiencing the kindness of those who live (not work) along the Camino, I will always take time to appreciate the kindness of others.

And this morning, as I sit on the Plaza Catedral in Astorga amongst fellow peregrinos, I feel a wave of gratitude come over me and tears come to my eyes. I am so so thankful that I can do this pilgrimage. I am trying to take any and all negative thoughts and feelings and turn them positive. I am not only learning about myself, I am trying to better myself. I only hope that I can carry these experiences with me after I finish the Camino.

Dear God, THANK YOU for allowing me to take this pilgrimage. Thank you for shining your light through the actions of my fellow humans. Please bless those who live along the Camino and continue to show support to the pilgrims. And bless my fellow pilgrims and keep them and myself safe and healthy. Amen.

Camino Day 1

23 August, 2014 - Villar de Mazarife, Hostel de San Antonio de Padua

My first day on the Camino is complete! I walked from Leon to Mazarife which is almost 14 miles. I walked more than a half marathon today! But even more exciting is that I made new friends. :)

I met a very nice group of people from New Jersey: Father Anthony, Mark, Mary, Martha and Eileen. They are all part of a walking ministry in their church so they had been training for the Camino for the past few months. I saw them at the Pilgrim mass in Leon last night, joined them for dinner and walked with them this morning until La Virgen de Camino. They stopped at a café and I decided to move on.

I walked alone until Oncina and as I was walking along I noticed how happy I was. I found that I was smiling and I had this light fluttering feeling in my heart. I hadn't felt that happy or excited for anything in a long time. After worrying about logistics and visas and packing for so long, there is something wonderful and freeing about only worrying about the next few hours of your day. And now, this will be my life for two and a half weeks. I will get the endorphins of exercise, the freedom to stop and start where and when I want, and the opportunity both for introspection and for the meeting of new friends.

In my solitude, I also noticed that I depend a lot on my guidebook for directions. So starting in Oncina, I decided that I would try to trust that I would find the next shell way-marker and it would point me in the right direction. Also along my Way today I keep thinking how much Dad would enjoy this trip. I wish he was here right now but I am also glad that I am on my own. I think I would become too complacent, too dependent on his expertise as well as his company.

Speaking of company, I met another group of pilgrims in Oncina: Almu from Madrid and Nicole and Andrea from Austria. Almu and Nicole knew each other from studying abroad and Nicole and Andrea were friends from school. Almu offered me a place in her guest room when I return to Madrid! And Nicole offered the same if I ever find myself in Vienna. I think I am slowly starting to get this whole meeting new people thing.

I walked with these girls to Mazarife (we arrived around 1pm) where Andrea moved on rather quickly after lunch and Almu and Nicole were going to look for a ride to the next village. I, on the other hand, went in search of a place to stay for the night.

I settled on the Hostel de San Antonio de Padua. As this is only the second night, I'm not quite sure what to look for when choosing a place to stay. This is where I like to consult my guidebook once again. It has recommendations and comments on the general feel of places as well as listings of the amenities each place offers. This hostel was nice and quiet and, while it sat on the main road as you enter the town, it seemed safe and serene. Plus the hospitalero was sitting on the front porch as I walked up and she was so warm and welcoming!

Thinking about the people I have already met and the people I have yet to meet: while I will surely meet and pass by (and be passed by!) many many people along the Way, I am acutely aware that not all of them will become friends - but that is okay. I just have to remember that that is life. People pass through others' lives for different reasons - they may or may not make a significant impact. I have faith that God will put in my path the people who will impact my life and whose lives I will impact as well.

I am now sitting in the front yard. It is 4 o'clock and I have a very very long walk tomorrow. I wish I had an ice bath to dunk my feet into.

Dear God, please bless my new friends and let their journeys along the Way be enlightened and full of truth. Bless those who I have yet to meet and bless my own journey. Show me what you want me to learn from this experience and help me do so. Amen.

An after-dinner addition to my earlier entry:
A note about food - dinner last night in Leon was my first foray into the menu style of eating here in Spain. Lots of restaurants offer "menus" which, for a set price and from a limited selection of dishes, offer a starter, a main course, a dessert and a drink. Because most places along the Camino offer these menus for a very reasonable price (anywhere from 4-10 euros), this is the usual fare for pilgrims.

However, because of my eating restrictions, I found it hard to eat all - really even most - of the food that was brought out. The only thing is that leaving food on your plate is kind of a signal that it wasn't very good - in some restaurants, it can even be taken as an insult if you don't finish your entire meal.

Well tonight was a similar experience, except that the hospitaleros here cook dinner as a community meal for all the pilgrims staying in their hostel. After a full day of walking, I was actually relatively hungry so I ate my entire salad, my whole main course (which was an amazing paella dish), plus most of my dessert which was a lemon-flavored cake. Not only was this way too much food than I should have eaten, I consumed it all way too fast - and I found this out the hard way (read: I felt like I had to vomit).

So I learned my first hard lesson of the Camino: to not have these menus, but instead just order single items from the menu ("solo"). Alright, off to bed now. I'm up super early tomorrow morning so I don't get in to Astorga too late.