Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Who I am as Daughter

I am Daughter to two totally awesome people. My parents have been married for 29 years! 29 years! I'm trying to convince them to go on a European cruise for their 30th anniversary next year. But I digress...

As the years have gone by, I've had the pleasure of experiencing my parents in different lights. Growing up I saw them as Mom and Dad. After college, I was jobless for a while so I lived at home and experienced Mom and Dad as Husband and Wife. This was actually pretty entertaining because I got to see what they love most about each other and what makes them want to strangle each other. And best of all, we became more than Parents and Daughter, we became friends. (I would say we became friends with benefits citing the parental aspect as the benefit, but the phrase just seems wrong in this context.)

One of the many many reasons my mom and I share such an awesome relationship is because we are so similar. And one of the many many ways my mom and I are so similar is in the way we express our emotions. Let's just say we both have a hard time concealing our emotions (read: we don't.). Don't get me wrong, my mom is the strongest, bravest, most loving and caring woman I know, but because of her emotional openness, I always saw her as being human. Whereas my dad was always the goofball super-human. I mean, c'mon! He's my Daddy and I was/am his little girl! Although I remember when that image shattered in a big way for me (which will be written about in a later post; don't worry, it's on the list).

To be honest, my mom and I had been cultivating the mother/daughter/friend relationship while I was away at college which was a bit rough as I was about 800 miles away. But we managed quite nicely. We saw each other through rough times and awesome times via cell phone and weekend visits. Through homesickness and surgeries, through weekends alone and favorite new books, we saw each other and we grew in our new expanded relationship boundaries. To this day, I find myself talking to my mom about things I only talk about to one other person in the world, my best friend. And Mom and I are both better for it.

My dad and I also have a unique relationship. You see, growing up I was neither tom boy nor princess. Although I will not deny that I was somewhat spoiled being the only daughter with three sons (I always had my own bedroom while two of my brothers always shared a room). While my mom was always my Girl Scout troop leader, my dad was always my soccer coach. And this is no small thing. As referred to in the title of this blog, I got my first pair of soccer cleats when I was five years old. Soccer is a huge part of my life (read: fine line between passion and obsession). And my dad was a big part in bringing that passion to life. He also brought me up listening to the classic musical tuneage of Journey, the Eagles, Kansas, Boston, and Pink Floyd while I schooled him on the harmonic boy bands like N'Sync, Backstreet Boys, and 98 Degrees. Nowadays we talk about everything from soccer, work and co-workers to music, backpacking and Michael Buble.

When I lived at home during my unemployed period (also for the months that I commuted to my jobs), I came to love the evolving relationship with my mom and dad. From Parents and Daughter to Friends, my relationship with Those-Who-Gave-Me-Life is freaking awesome!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Who I am as Sister

     I have this whole list of blog topics that I have been compiling for quite some time now. It began when I came across this website about women and sports. I thought to myself, "I'm a woman and I enjoy sports." So when I read a call to action on the website asking for contributors on the topic of a woman's point of view in sports, I started thinking of what my response would be.
     This was just over six months ago and since then I started a list of blog topics on my handy-dandy smart phone. What is the first topic, you ask? The top of my list is the ever-so-tantalizing topic of who I am. Now, I don't mean this in the existential who-am-I-in-relation-to-the-universe type of who I am. I mean who I am in relation to other people. I believe that two things define a person: choices and relationships. Also, I just want to give some background so when the random topics pop up (oh, there will most certainly be random topics) readers wont be caught off guard. So here goes...

I am sister, daughter, friend and colleague. I am sister to three brothers, two sisters-in-law, and a best friend whose relationship qualifies more as family than friend.

     Growing up with three brothers, I have found, explains quite a bit about me...but not everything. Because a single element of one's upbringing does not define the entirety of who one is. However this element of my upbringing has resulted in the following qualities (includes but is not limited to): competitiveness, stubbornness, flexibility, awareness, shyness, and accepting. I grew up with three built-in best friends and playmates who were, due to the awesome relationship that is the brother-sister bond, always more than willing to stop playing with me if I got too whiny and girly. Competitiveness was needed to match their play habits and stubbornness to prove that I could do anything they could.
     As the middle child people-pleaser, I became hyper-aware of how my brothers and others around me were feeling. I could tell if my oldest brother was about to have a temper tantrum. I could tell what my little brother wanted even before he could talk. I could tell when my middle brother had decided it was time to wrestle.
     Somehow this hyper-awareness trait lends itself to another about which I am less than thrilled: I am shy. Now, I am getting better at this but at times I can have shyness flare-ups that are so debilitating that I start to tear up and I have to leave a room immediately for fear of further or future humiliation. I find myself not being aware of what others are feeling but assuming the worst about what they are feeling. I'll be at a party talking to a couple of people and start thinking that I am inconveniencing them with my presence. That's a really healthy level of self-esteem, right? I just can't help it sometimes. I'll often have something to contribute to a conversation but refrain from saying it out loud for fear of overpowering the conversation. I know. I'm working on it.
     Oddly enough, this hyper-awareness trait helped me develop a personality trait of which I am particularly proud. I can get along with just about anybody. Now this doesn't mean that I am one of those super-social butterflies who can start a conversation and become instant friends with the odd German girl in the top bunk of our shared bunk bed in the hostel in Florence (see example in previous paragraph). This simply means that I learn what makes people tick and instead of butting heads with them, I accept, adapt, and can work with them if necessary.
     As every other person in this world, I grow and learn from relationships I form throughout life. I have learned to accept and love myself (although we never stop trying to improve what we think needs improvement).

     Anyway, more to come soon...remember I have a list!