Camino Day 8

30 August, 2014 - Herrerias

Today I climbed a mountain. But the view was better on the way up than it was from the summit.

For some reason today, I didn't want to stop and rest at all. I think it was partly because I wanted to get my hands on my bag that never made it to Villafranca. Oh yeah, that happened...

I never realized that you had to call to have a pick-up reserved for JacoTrans. The first time I did it in Rabanal, Gene didn't say - or didn't know - that you had to make a reservation. I guess someone else had reserved a pick up so my bag ended up in Ponferrada with no problem. But from Ponferrada to Villafranca, I must have been the only one with a bag to transport because no one came to pick it up!

I had a bit of a meltdown in Villafranca but the hospitalero was so nice and helpful. He called JacoTrans for me to arrange my bag to be sent to Vega de Valcarce for me. He also called to the hostel/bar in Ponferrada to confirm my bag was still there. I cried from the heat and dehydration and frustration at my stupid mistake. Crying usually makes people either feel sorry for me or feel really uncomfortable. The hospitalero seemed more about the former but he was very down-to-business until everything was worked out. He also didn't speak much English so I was trying to speak and understand Spanish which was just aggravating the situation. Finally, he asked another pilgrim to translate and that made things go a bit more smoothly.

So my meltdown, coupled with a sunburn from the walk through the vineyards yesterday, made me very tired and agitated. Also, I was waiting to get my bag before taking a shower so I didn't take a shower until around 6pm once everything had been dealt with - which means my dirty clothes weren't hung out to dry until 6:30pm so they were still quite damp when I brought them in from the dark for the night.

Anyway, I now have my bag but my feet are so tired from not stopping basically all day.

The mountain I climbed this morning was nice and good exercise (like I need additional exercise out here on the Camino!) but I don't know if it was worth it. Over half of today's walk was on pavement along a highway so my hips and joints hurt much more than usual. I don't know - I guess it was cool being so high up and away from everyone, but I was alone again for most of the day.

I don't know why it is so different now than when I first started walking. I just haven't met anyone going my same pace - or even ending up in the same towns. Maybe it will be different after tomorrow. After I get to O'Cebreiro, most days are pretty standard 20-25 kilometers or less per day. Maybe I will meet new friends with whom I can share the Camino.

Although, I did meet Frank and Jerry today. Frank and Jerry are two Irish men probably the same age as Dad who met each other on the Camino about three years ago. They started in St. Jean and walked to Burgos. The next year they walked from Burgos to Ponferrada. This year they are finishing up, walking from Ponferrada to Santiago. They both are really quite lovely and their wives are both here on the Camino as well. The two men walk together and the two women walk together - I only met Frank and Jerry on the Way but I met their wives at the hotel this evening. The four of them took a taxi to mass up the mountain in O'Cebreiro and I am stealthily waiting for them to get back so I might be able to eat dinner with them.

I feel a bit pathetic trying to latch on to them but it is so nice not being alone for a while - and being able to speak English unabashedly, too!

I wonder if this isn't an overarching lesson that God is trying to teach me on this trip...Maybe there is such a thing as being too independent. I mean, we're social creatures aren't we? Maybe God is trying to tell me that I need to give up (I don't know if give up is the right term) being so independent and learn to lean on others.

My whole life, I have been completely loved by my family, but I've never experienced romantic love before. This is most likely due to my being overweight and under-confident for my entire life. I would allow myself to have crushes on boys growing up, but I never would let myself want anything more than that. I always justified it by reasoning that I would be going off to college so why would I want a boyfriend in high school. Or in college I knew that I wouldn't end up in Seattle so why start a relationship that I would just have to move away from. I didn't even let myself fully desire a romantic relationship because I knew deep down that it wasn't dependent on me wanting it - it was dependent on someone else wanting me...and I never thought that would ever happen. So I just became comfortable with being by myself.

Maybe experiencing this time alone along the Way is to prepare me to have an open heart for when someone special comes into my life. Maybe I need to use this time to begin to build confidence in my new body and mind so I can accept that someone just might want me and that I might let myself want someone back.

Dear God, please help me see and accept what you are teaching me here on the Camino. I want to learn and be better so badly. Please help me. Amen.

Camino Day 7

29 August, 2014 - Villafranca del Bierzo

Lots of things happened today so this is going to be a long entry. I'll start off by saying that I felt God's presence three times today.

The first time was through a fellow pilgrim: Jose from Mexico.

I left very early in the morning - like before dawn early - from Ponferrada. It was actually so dark that I seriously considered turning back in to the albergue because I didn't want to walk through the city and suburbs by myself.  But I saw another pilgrim so I decided to follow along behind him. It was quite a ways before we spoke to each other but I truly believe God sent him to ease my fears and keep me safe through the dark city streets. I'd like to think that if I didn't see this pilgrim that I would have gone back to the albergue. But knowing me...I don't know. I guess I'll have to test that boundary another time.

So my guardian angel is named Jose and he is from Mexico. We passed each other several times in the dark. One of us would stop to take a picture or check a waymarker and the other would nod or smile at the other. And finally, as the darkness began to lift and the urban concrete and alleys were left behind, the dawn light was enough for me to actually see his face, and so I asked his name. Jose and I walked together for a few miles. We talked about home, the people we've met along the Way, and our plans after we finish the Camino. We talked about our families, our time in school, and how we hoped the Camino would change us.

As we approached a small town, I decided to stop for some tea and breakfast while Jose decided to keep moving. Before we said goodbye, I thanked him. I told him  that even though we didn't talk earlier, I was happy he was there - because walking alone in the dark is scary and he made it better.

The second time I felt God's presence today was through a woman in Valtuille de Arriba.

My guidebook mentioned that the people in this village have a deep respect for the Camino and its pilgrims. That, coupled with the hundreds of vineyards I walked through (not to mention my aching feet and the scorching sun), made me want to stop for some water and wine.

I stopped at a bar nestled in a bend in the single road that wound through the small village. The only seating was outdoors but the patio was shaded by an ancient-looking wooden trellis covered with grapevines. Colorful wind chimes and ornaments hung from the trellis and you had to negotiate a short but narrow dirt trail with stepping stones in order to reach the wooden benches still shaped like tree trunks.

I unbuckled my backpack and slumped it on the ground as I wearily took a seat and wiped my sweaty forehead. The woman who owns the bar brought me some water and asked if I would like anything else. I asked if I could try some local wine and she beamed this proud, excited smile at me. The red wine (vino tinto) that she brought out was from the vineyard at the top of the hill I had just come down from - her neighbor's family has owned that vineyard for over one hundred years!

Understatement of the year: the wine was spectacular. Now, I don't have the most discerning of palettes but sitting there in the haze of alcohol and what I'm sure was minor heat exhaustion, I swear in this wine I could taste the sun and feel the spirit of the grapes having just walked through the same vineyards where this wine was born.

As I got up to leave, the woman told me to wait for just a moment. She placed on the table a small pebble of red quartz and told me about the tradition of Jacinto de Compostela. The star clusters of the red quartz represents the field of stars the first pilgrim followed to Santiago. Pilgrims now carry the red quartz as a talisman for good luck and good health.

The woman took my hand, closed it around the red quartz pebble and said this to me, "I have this gift for you, peregrina, because I too am peregrina." This really spoke to me. I don't know if she meant that she has literally walked the Camino before (as many locals do) or if she meant figuratively that she is a pilgrim in life. Either way, I felt a bond with her and I hope she is well.

The third time I felt God's presence was on the Way between Valtuille and Villafranca.

I was once again walking along a trail of loose dirt through hundreds of vineyards and I came upon this steep rise. I was dreading the uphill effort as the sun beat down on me but when I reached the top I suddenly started to cry.

The whole valley was laid out before me and I was overcome with gratitude. I found - or rather was given - the shade of a single tree. A small breeze cooled the sweat at my temples and rustled the hair that had sprung loose from my braid. The vines had dropped bunches of grapes in the rich, red soil.

This picture and my words cannot appropriately describe what made this scene so splendid other than the feeling that washed over me the moment it all came into view. It was like I had finally found the me-shaped hole in this world and in this moment, I filled it up.

Dear God, thank you for sending me Jose from Mexico, the woman from the bar in Valtuille and the truly awe-inspiring sites I saw today. Your glory did not go unnoticed. Please bless Jose, the peregrina, and the wine.

Camino Day 6

28 August, 2014 - Molinaseca

I've stopped in Molinaseca for breakfast :)

Maybe this is too much information but I think I need to change my shirt. I've been wearing this yellow long-sleeved one every day that I've been walking so I wouldn't have to worry about applying and reapplying sunscreen.* But I think the color is attracting flies - though now that I think about it, it could be the smell...but I don't think it smells bad, I swear! I promise I rinse and/or wash this shirt every single day!

*Funny story about sunscreen on the Camino: apparently, many Europeans don't use sunscreen - some don't even know what it is! I was walking along with Almu, Andrea, and Nicole on my first day on the Camino and we had stopped on the side of the trail to rest. Before we got up to start walking again, I took out my sunscreen spray and started reapplying to my face and neck. The three girls gave me the weirdest looks! Andrea finally asked me what I was doing and I told them I burn very easily so I have to apply sunscreen every few hours. They all kind of giggled in a friendly way and Almu said that most Europeans like to get sunburnt. When they go back to work with a sunburn, it tells everyone that they just got back from holiday - like they are bragging without having to say anything. I love how much I'm learning about other cultures!

Anyway, as I was walking down the massive hills from Riego de Ambros - sloloming through blackberry brambles - I had to keep reminding myself to look backward at the sunrise. And that made me think, what if the best sunrises happen while our backs are turned? How often do we miss opportunities because we are so focused on what is ahead that we don't stop to see what is all around us?

I'll write again this afternoon once I stop for the night in Ponferrada...

28 August, 2014 - Ponferrada

Man, does this place make me miss Torino! I came into the hostel and the girl checking me in is Karla's Spanish doppelganger! Plus, I went to the supermercado to get dinner (and, let's face it, breakfast, lunch and dinner for tomorrow, too). All I need now is Karla and Alaina to run around the city with me to find a bar that will serve us tres margaritas de fragola!

It is nice being in an actual city again. Astorga was only kind of a city...it didn't feel like people actually lived there. I know they do, Astorga was just such a medieval city that it was more of an attraction than a place where people actually lived lives. It was also kind of fun coming into the city through a suburban neighborhood. I saw people on runs, on walks, walking their dogs and going to work. You can get so swept away by the old-world feel of the Camino that you forget that actual people live and work here.

I got to talk to Mom again today on the phone! She wasn't really awake when I called yesterday from the Cruce de Ferro so we set up a time to talk before she went to work this morning. I sat out on the beautiful patio under the shade of a few trees in front of the albergue. Mom was so happy to chat and sounded so excited for me. She's been forwarding all of my emails on to the whole family and she is going to send me all of their replies. It'll be fun to hear from everyone. :)

I was thinking about going to mass tonight again. The albergue is run partly by the church next door so I feel kind of obligated but I think I will just go to bed early and pray before going to sleep.

It's a very early day tomorrow. I'm going to try to leave by 6am; partly to give my things to JacoTrans so they are sent ahead to Villafranca and partly because I will be walking through vineyards during the hottest part of the day and I would like to avoid as much heat exhaustion as I can. So I will sign off for the night and prepare for a long trek tomorrow.

Dear God, thank you for helping me appreciate my experience here on the Camino - the people, the places and the scenery. I can't wait to take in more of your glory tomorrow. If it is in your will, please help me meet mew friends as well. I am starting to feel a bit lonely. Amen.