Monday, December 12, 2011

I was taken by an Italian at the mall today.

I was taken by an Italian at a mall kiosk today. It's not what you're thinking...he caressed my hair, asked me if I loved him, and sold me not one, but TWO hair straighteners. Yes, folks, you heard it hear first. I had a weak moment and negated the credit card payment I made today.


Boy did he lay it on thick, too. He introduced himself as Giovanni (I know, right?). I was getting off the escalator and practically ran into a group of people crossing the bottom of the escalator. My path was forced directly into the expectant eyes of the tall, dark Giovanni. It was kind of like when you merge onto the freeway into an exit only lane and the car next to you is going exactly the same speed as you and you can't speed up or slow down enough so you just exit the freeway and try again.

Well, I've cautiously diverted my path and eye contact away from this particular kiosk on several occasions. The people sell hair straighteners and they can sense a head of curly frizzy hair from a mile away. And if this head of hair happens to be having a relatively low self esteem day, well...let's just say Giovanni hit the jackpot.

So I was forced directly into Giovanni's path and because of his thick Italian accent, his obvious flattery, and the way we locked eyes, he got me to set down my bags and sit down in his chair. He undid my messy bun and smiled at me in the mirror and my half-assed attempt at a hairstyle which I threw together that morning after my shower. Oh yes, and my hair was still wet from this morning. "It is not problem, my love. This straightener works also on wet hair!"

Oh, thank goodness! I thought for a second that I'd have an excuse to get out of that chair! I can just imagine Giovanni getting home tonight after his shift. Walking through the door and sitting down for dinner with his mother. "Mamma, I took an American girl at the mall today."

As a salesperson myself, I should know better than to engage with a sales pitch like that. Here's an insider's tip: if you don't want to be sold, don't answer their questions; don't engage. Once you start answering the questions, you'll be taken on a logical journey that will lead to you inexplicably taking out your credit card and believe me, there isn't an objection in the world that we haven't dealt with.

On the bright side, I can get rid of my old dumpy straightener and I'm done shopping for my mom's Christmas gift!

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